Wedding cake-in-the-middle-of- the road

Money…illness….grief… decisions… addictions… life is just full of obstacles that makes you stop in your tracks… stare immobilised at the wedding cake in the middle of the road… with no inkling as to how to handle it. The only guarantee being that the next step will profoundly change the status of things.

So I’m not really referring to those challenges – like “I will not eat chocolate this week” – its more about obstacles that we have no control over. Challenges are often easier to overcome and well within our reach. Obstacles on the other hand present something a little beyond the usual challenge… that unexpected thing we just didn’t foresee.

I think even obstacles have their little purpose in the bigger scheme of things. They force us to go beyond boundaries we never knew we had (the boundary that is). Consider for a moment being diagnosed with some weird virus that’ll have you down for 3 months. This diagnosis will undoubtedly force you to change many aspects of your daily diet and give greater consideration to your general health. In this instance, the obstacle forced you to take greater care in your health.

An obstacle may be a sign to quit too I think. And I don’t mean quit altogether ...We quit that only avenue thought to bring success. We quit the way we’ve been going about things and try another route. That same little avenue for some reason or the other is not … and has not been working so well. Thus, the obstacle for a bit of a wakeup call.

So being faced with the wedding cake in the middle of the road could just be the best thing that happens to you in a long time.

(Pic: http://stanleybronstein.com/blog/roadblock.jpg )

It is a poor idea to lie to yourself

Its easy to procrastinate, give-up when things get tough, be rude when someone else is, make excuses and dump blame… little white lies here and there… or the big ones that we’d rather not be reminded of.

Question: Why do we lie to ourselves?

I think we lie to merely find the easy way out of a pickle. By choosing the easy way we find that quick solution… or that temporary patch. It may help for now… still the waters, but down the line is another story altogether. With every lie you convince yourself of - you not only become that lie’s slave but also freely give away your strength. Why?

Because it takes strength to do what you know you should do… to follow through the obstacles and challenges of our paths. It takes commitment and persistence to work on those difficult problems particularly. “I can’t” and “I couldn’t ever” are just some of the most common lies we love telling ourselves. Yet every time we succumb to some lie we give away our strength and instead opt for the easy way out. But really now- how fruitful can all this possibly be?

There are no true easy or free rides in my opinion. Great accomplishments require great effort and strength. And this strength is built every single time you do what know you must do…. whether you feel like it, want to… or not. It takes far more strength to be persistent than to simply dismiss or ignore something.

… moral of da story… It’s a poor idea to lie yourself for whatever reason. You’re only slowing down the realisation of your dreams.

(Pic: http://www.flickr.com/photos/lindsey_martin_photos/3493046867/

The sound of one hand clapping

... is the sound of nothingness... silence…. space… the sound of man perceiving his solitude…and I said solitude… not loneliness… there’s a difference.

Often busy schedules, demanding deadlines, a host of responsibilities is what seem to be ruling and running your life… as if the schedule is in control. We feel like we’ll never catch up, and may even make a mountain out of the mole hill when pressured. I think with the world changing at a pace that is almost impossible to keep up with- it’s important to find some balance and take charge of the schedule…. Not the schedule taking charge of you like the puppet on strings.

For some ... that balance is found within solitude. By cultivating some solitude… we figure out our why’s, what’s and where’s, ultimately finding some direction for actions (however small). And determined actions result in you being in charge of the schedule... and not be the puppet!

The sound of one hand clapping is the sound of man exploring and finding awareness -and himself- in an ever changing world.

(Pic: http://ahmedfernando.files.wordpress.com/2008/11/hand_on_water.jpg)

Not all who wander are lost…

Ever considered abandoning your 9 to 5 slave life for one filled with adventure and excitement? Hell, I certainly have…. and may just secretly aspire to, what may seem as, getting lost.

Bout some 2 years ago… I met a real-life, modern-day nomad. Found myself absolutely fascinated with him and his lifestyle of nowhereness seeming more like somewhereness than nothingness. Chad was from America originally and in his late teens decided to take off … let’s just say to find himself. It appeared though that Chad found the world instead. No 9 to 5… no assets that needed administering … no cars to be serviced… no deadlines … no stress about tomorrows… just life and a journey of never-ending exploration. Damn I could live like that!

Chad travelled from country to country, with no particular mission in mind, but just to explore the different faces and places he came across. Living on almost nothing- he carried with him a few items of clothing and well that was pretty much it… no phone…no laptop …no special travelling gear… no Facebook even at the time…just himself with the world to get lost in. To fund his continuous travels he’d do some contract work …. wherever and whatever… and use that money for flights, accommodation and food… all he ever needed to survive. Prior to coming to SA, he at some point packed fish in Alaska for about 6 months before continuing his travels. “I cannot complain of hassles along my journeys and you’d be surprised how helpful people can be” he mentioned. Upon my enquiry about where to next of course… he replied “not sure yet…. thinking India or Afghanistan”. Since we managed to convince him to at least open a Facebook account …. it turned out to be India first and Afghanistan some time later.

To me it seemed Chad exuded this amazing sense of peace to match his simplistic, yet ever rich, lifestyle. This I like….. no… I love! I highly commend people like Chad bold enough to trade comfort and security for a life of adventure and exploration.

Why is it that we consume stuff…. we hoard stuff… work to attain all sorts of career goals and yet people are still unhappy. Even with all the stuff in the world that you or the Joneses could possibly attain- will this guarantee happiness…peace?

I often think a measure of one’s success is not the race to attain and consume but the amount of people whose lives we manage to touch in some way or another. That could be through work or just about anything you do as they mostly involve dealing with people. And if this is the philosophy of nomads like Chad, think we cannot judge or assume that seeming wanderers are lost.

Maybe its more about what being found might mean to you?

(Picture by me:-)

Pondering Freedom

“I recall the late 80’s”… my brother begins… “and early 90’s … where burning tyres… running from cops… throwing stones and teargas canisters was what school was all about. Youth fought with rage for the freedom of our country”.

It’s 26 April 2010 and after a leisurely supper, discussing all sorts of things, our conversation somehow turned to our schooldays. I recalled many days where Muneer arrived home breathless, recounting his day’s experience of attending some rally and the drama that usually unfolded.

In recollecting the events of that period, Muneer explains how rallies were arranged by the SRC between schools where a speaker representing the ANC, UDF or Cosatu were normally hosted. Students from surrounding schools attended the talks and although urged by speakers to avoid any form of violence, it was almost impossible to avoid as rallies dispersed. It just took one student to start some action then all hell broke loose. Soon … yellow casper vans were everywhere and this meant dodging rubber bullets, birdshots, teargas canisters and batons.

“We burnt tyres, wore gloves to throw hot teargas canisters back at cops, protected our faces with scarves and balaclavas from the zoom lenses” he recalls. “Somehow, there were always informers” so you’d find cops parked out early morning or surrounding the school even before anything happened. Helicopters often landed with cops jumping out armed. Those who were unfortunate enough to be identified would find themselves randomly snatched from class on normal schooldays . “You ran for your life” and often found refuge in some unknown aunty’s home who called you in.

“They also used these water canons with purplish water sprays that stained you for about two weeks”, mainly to identify youth involved in unrest a day or two later. Those who got caught were beaten to a pulp and left somewhere or further interrogated before being released (should you have been so lucky).

“I think things in Joburg was a bit worse” he continues, thus the Soweto 7 and Sharpeville Day. “Protesting for us meant an avenue to express our deep unhappiness “ of the injustices of the system back then. Although indirectly supported by teachers and even parents, it was youth who mobilised amongst themselves … bravely taking action in any way they knew how to express themselves. Our discussion continued for some time and I couldn’t help but ponder on the immence power of youth …united by a common goal and dream.

Today… we are living that dream and I personally commend those youth, along with every man and woman, who fought bravely for the injustices they felt and experienced. In celebrating Freedom Day… and although we’ve achieved much since then, I think its important to note that the dream has not (and should not) end… there is still much we can do. Today we just have a different dream in uniting through our diversities to continue building a prosperous South Africa for all. Youth of the 80’s and 90’s should serve as a reminder that, through unity, all dreams are possible.

(Picture courtesy http://newsone.com/files/2010/02/nelson_mandela_return_to_cell.jpg)

How do you step from the top of a 100-foot pole?

Well, you certainly don’t step from a pole that high… you close your eyes and jump I’d say.

Having ventured up the pole that far… you certainly didn’t do it in vain to begin with. You had some goal to achieve… some sort of plan of action. So its difficult to fathom why anyone would climb a 100-foot pole to simply what?... just climb down again? or just because? I would certainly think not. Something motivated you … something either waited for you at the top of that pole or most likely beyond. So whatever the reason… you’ve come this far… you don’t need to look down or meticulously strategize that next step… just take it.

I believe that everything in life happens for a reason. Often that reason may not be clear at the time… but somehow down the line… the light bulb flickers. Many situations often just don’t make any sense at all. I think that too often we envision a future or outcome and do everything in our power to attempt to control that outcome. When things don’t exactly go our way… we feel lost, confused, cheated by fate. And this because things are not exactly going according to THE PLAN.

In my humble experience with life, I’ve learnt that the future almost never turns out the way I envision. I may come close… yet still it’s not exactly what I had in mind. So the unexpected crops up, hits you like ton of bricks…. “this was not part of the plan… jeez what now?... forget it all?... start new?

I’ve learnt that there are things in my life I can certainly control and then there’s the unexpected I never even thought of. So instead of fretting about the “what now?” or thinking about how to fix a mess… maybe it’s a matter of relinquishing control… and taking the road less travelled. Letting go and let life take its course… and this I think is the hard part. We’re stubborn and set in our ways and think we can control almost every aspect of our lives. Well… newsflash… it’s never been that way and never will be. When faced with some adversity we could be fooled into thinking it’s the end of it all. Yet somehow we always make it through with new experiences and challenges along the road.

So… to step from that 100-foot pole we need to put our faith in the unknown… jump and the net will appear.

(Picture courtesy of http://www.chrisduel.com/LeaperFire.jpg)

Pearls of Wisdom

Introducing Pappa Smurf... or so he likes to be known.

Some of you may recognise this face from an old Coco-Cola ad…. or just by hanging around Long Street maybe.

Pappa Smurf is an old friend (excuse the pun) of mine and his energy and zest for life always astounds. Somewhat of a legend in Long Street where you’ll either find him at some backpacker, walking the street or chatting up just about anybody and everybody.

Pappa keeps himself busy in various ways. At his age (which is truly a mystery) he gets up at odd hours to be on set for a day of two of shooting. Pappa’s also an avid still life painter with his next exhibition coming up soon. A new found activity has become playing online games… “oh Mafia Wars rock” he laughs. To top it off- Pappa can still be found at certain clubs dancing the night away.

So what keeps him going? “I simply love life and live it by the Inter-galactic laws"… or Universal laws if you will. “It’s just common sense”… cause and effect… what you give out will return to you in some way etc etc… “there’s just really no other way to live”. Pappa believes that everyone is just a “piece of light in a vehicle” and the best thing you can do for yourself is “get rid of your ego” and live by universal laws.

So Pappa’s pearls of wisdom: (1) Live by universal laws...read these two books- “The Light Shall Set You Free” by Dr Norma Milanovich and Eckhart Tolle’s “Power of Now”; (2) Don’t drink alcohol!!!... “it’s the biggest evil ever invented”.

A truly mysterious man with many stories to tell …I’ve only ever seen him happy and engaged in whatever, whoever and wherever he finds himself. To me… Pappa certainly walks the talk of his pearls of wisdom.